future reflections

Today i was running extremely late so i decided to go ahead and make the choice to just skip my first class. I dont know if that was a good choice or not.

So lately god has been teaching me some very odd stuff in some pretty humorous ways.

I have found out that i dont really listen very well, to anyone. It's odd because I used to be great at that and people always came to me with problems, but now i feel i put on this "loud and over the top" facade just to make people laugh and make them feel good.

The truth is that is not really me.

I want to make everyone happy and make sure everyone is laughing but I have realized that while i put on this show i ignore people and god when they talk

I'm slowly returning to the person i used to be. as i grow closer to death each day i learn to cherish expiriences and people so much more. I'm sick and tired of living my life for other people. Even though it's selfish to live only for yourself, there needs to be a good balance.

Whatever, I feel very scatterbrained right now


have a beautiful day
lando

Quiet houses

Well i dont have much to say right now. I cant sleep and i dont know why. I was faling asleep in all my classes today and ive been incredibly tired due to the lack of sleep last night. It's frustrating. So im listening to some fleet foxes and thinking about the future a bit. Nothing ill share tonight, but in the future? yes.

I dont even know why i write this haha no one reads it

So this can maybe be my outlet for venting about people i dislike.

brie i hate the way you......
kyle your such a ...
james.....
jordan?


not very nice
bye

a room at the heart break hotel

It has been a while since I've been to Mt. Dora. at dusk, it's probably one of my favorite places in the world. Maybe when it is a tad bit cooler I will venture that way to do some skating, and maybe to ponder life's biggest questions.

today was a weird day, I didn't do anything but a lot happened. I got some information on future colleges, found out some interesting things about my friends, and I'm pretty sure I will never be a winner at this love game (I really hate to complain about that last one because its a very cliche complaint but for me, today has really solidified my place). I just hate the idea of having to put up with all of the commotion that relationships cause.

anyways...

The day has also been a real musical trip down memory lane. It seems as if switchfoot, circa survive, dashboard, and relient k have been either extremely relevant in my life or they just keep popping up. It's funny how as you grow older your tastes in anything change, and how some of these bands are good for nothing more than the nostalgia that surrounds them. recently however switchfoot and dashboard have been really relevant to what I'm going through in my life. It makes me laugh at how different a person can be yet still be dealing with similar emotions that they have dealt with in the past. Its also made me realize that dashboard is an incredibly lame band.

"o you like making out and long drives

and brown eyes and guys that just

don't quite fit in yeah do you like

them? So yes, I'll see you there."

.... Seriously, how do you sell crap like this? I guess I bought it as a kid

Any ways,

Last week my debate professor was sick and class was canceled. Of course we all were happy. Later we found out it was one of the worst sicknesses he has ever had. Isn't it funny how he has a terrible day yet our day is a little bit brighter due to his misfortune? What if he found out he had cancer that day?

just think....

landen

46 miles to west palm…

There’s something interesting about traveling across the state with 4 people you don’t really know in the back of a cargo van. I’m having a lot of time to think this trip. The best part is not a single person knows what is going on in my life. Its almost like I will be a different person these next 6 days, I wont have to worry about what their opinions or advice they have with the things going on in my life.

I’m listening to the new pearl jam album, and it is phenomenal by the way.

I like the scenery that’s to the side of I-95, it’s a pleasant change from the ever repetitive I-4. We just passed what looked like a marina but there was no water in sight, odd.

last tuesday was my best friend mikeys birthday. its funny that I chose the title “ The death of Adolescence” on the same day, considering he was the last one to turn 18 in my group of friends. He says he doesn’t feel any different but I can feel a change in the air for some reason. As we sat and all reminisced about old times and told stories of our youthful adventures to some of our new friends, it seemed as almost we were seven retired guys meeting for the first time in decades to recant the actions of our childhood. It was interesting closing the book on childhood all together with him. And as I was sadded by this, I saw us all opening and reading the introducion to the book on adult hood. Even though I think we were all some what unsettled by this passing, I sensed an excitement that we all were going to start this journey together,.and even though we may not end this story together, what matters most to me is that we started it.