"Happy to see how far I've come to the same place it began my dreams and imagination perfectly at peace so I move along a bit higher"

I have been having really lucid dreams lately. It reminded me of this video I saw about 5 years ago. In my opinion it is one of the most creative snowboard videos I have ever seen. Even if you dont have an appreciation for such sports just absorb the art. I apologize for the semi poor quality.

I know its been a while since I have sat down and written from my heart. It is just another one of those times where I must sit and reflect.... something is coming soon... something big.


lando

"How do I feel for thee? Your smile brings disease. 'Cause we're young, willing from the start."

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Its nights like these when we feel most alive

We felt like kings sitting on our leather thrones
As the sound of amateur musicians fill the air
and the laughs from gestures out pour from our mouths

The smells of summer were on our noses

As we tell the tales of the explorations the we have yet to complete
We are called to assemble....

Its nights like this that make me want to be 16 forever

I never want to wake up from this extraordinary dream
The dream of falling asleep as our sides split from a photo play

This elite group of adolescents aids me as my camarilla
Any challenge that may surface is never to much for my comrades.

Arise boys!

We ride these streets , screaming at the top of our voices
The summer air fills our lungs as we make our rounds
Speeding past others in the memories we make

Though we are not bonded in blood,
we are a band of brothers

I marvel at others bravery for stepping apart,
But as we may take a step each day towards death physically
Mentally we will always be one

We watch as morbid prophecies are fulfilled
yet we stand strong

Others wish they could have what we have
Others claim they have what we have
Others despise what we have

Stick together boys! There is one thing I'm sure of
We are heroes in a dying generation

I've been rapping for about seventeen years,ok. I dont write my stuff anymore... I just kick it from my head.

ectoplasm

1. Biology: The outer portion of the continuous phase of cytoplasm of a cell, sometimes distinguishable as a somewhat rigid, gelled layer beneath the cell membrane

2. An immaterial or ethereal substance, especially the transparent corporeal presence of the spirit.

You grow, you roar Although disguised I know you.....You'll learn to know.

This band produces some of the most beautiful music I have ever heard.

Today is Sunday and I have to work. Its odd because I feel so out of place not being in church, just last month I would take my Sundays off and sleep in, not really worrying about church. I have seen the value in getting fed, I also have learned that this can not be something that happens only on Sundays.

I like starting over.

I am getting such a different perspective on Christianity, the reason I say I live my life. I grew up in church and I never really had a value for God because of that reason. I feel like in my case because he was just something that was there and things were fine there really was no reason to step out of my comfort zone to experience something more.

A few nights ago I was watching one of my discipleship kids worship... as I observed I wished for that back. I wished for that passion and that reckless abandonment of all I know to cry out to God. It was very inspiring....

It is so funny to me to look at why I started this blog and to slowly see the ups and downs of my life since last September. I still refuse to believe that anyone reads this, I guess it is why I poure my heart out into whatever the subject may be.

I just received a job from Burton snowboards... to anyone else that's not a big deal, to me I have wanted to work for them since I was in 9th grade. even though I am working as an inventory specialist at the local store i feel like there is more to come from this very small opportunity. Knowing that they have stores in NYC, LA, Boston,Tokyo, Chicago, and Burlington makes me incredibly excited for advancement opportunities. The reason I have mentioned this is to take note in the power of your words and positivity. When I was 14 I decided I wanted to be an engineer to go and design snowboards for Burton, After I had realized I have no chance due to all of the math involved I walked away from that dream. 3 years later they open a store in Orlando Florida, where we never see a single flake of snow......

To me that is God.

One love,
Landen

Oars freed from their holds long ago Lying face up on the floor of my vessel I marvel at the stars And feel my heart overflow, further down the river.

In two week's time my life have been flipped upside down, this time for the good.....

side note: I think incubus has taken the place of "all time favorite band". I dont think I have ever had one of those, and it feels funny.

I have never been so at peace with who I am and the decisions I am making. I have finally begun to realize that everything will happen in the perfect timing, and even though it is unfortunate that I can't predict that timing, it's comforting knowing that it exists.

I'm having hard time learning patience.

I had lost the value of just sitting and listening. The simple acts of just being at peace and being still is so crucial to holding on to ones sanity. Through thees meditative states great revelation has emerged. It's so hard to explain but i find comfort in not caring and just leaving it up to Jehova.

I love how the bible refers to God in so many different ways. Jehova-Jireh (the God that provides), Jehova- Nissi (the God that comforts), Jehova- Shammah ( the God that is here), Jehova- rapha (the God that heals), and my favorite Jehova- shalom (the God that is peace). I can't comprehend how one being can be all of thees things, but thats what captivates me about God.

I am an extremely logical person and in reality God is not very logical (scientifically speaking). But I love the unknown, it always has fascinated me. I also love the risk I take of being wrong. I don't think people realize that being a christian is the biggest gamble in the history of the world.

Story time:
I was walking downtown a few nights ago after going to SAK and I witnessed a man yelling at the crowd of "rock and rollers" that they were going to burn in a " lake of fire". As they screamed incredibly hurtful things to thees people that may or may not know anything about God it immediately pissed me off. As I walked closer to confront this guy, I witnessed a leader at a local church standing in font of the man silently with a sign apologizing for this mans actions. The sign also went on to tell the crowd that if Jesus were here he would love and comfort them, as well as tell the man that was screaming what was wrong with his methods. This silent disciple was God's heart...


Just something to think about.

Then I'll float on down the river to my cajun hide away....

A short thought.

Every day that i wake up I get more exited to serve this country in the coast guard. Its weird because as a dreamer I get excited about a lot but this is different.... it seems so close, when it really is. the only thing separating me from this dream is about 20 pounds.

I think everyone needs something to be excited about when they wake up in the morning. What kind of life would you live if you didn't? All I can say is dont think your dream is unobtainable, look for steps even if they are small and minute to get to that dream...

record music on a tape recorder....

read a monologue in the mirror...

make cookies for your friends....

I have also found that a key part to accomplishing any dream is to be extremely out going. the reason being is you never know who you will meet next that will help you achieve the next step towards your goal.


for some reason today is a really good day for absolutely no reason and i just wanted to share that with you all.


Remember, You can't keep a good man down.


Love,
Landen

Grab your sweaters and your fleece, your cap and shoes lets leave. maybe thats what she needs to hear, maybe thats what she needs.

I have lost sight of how important random acts of kindness can be.

I think I have also lost some sense of value on the way I impact the world.

After spending the past few weekends with some people I may never see again I began to reevaluate the importance I place on changing someones life for the better. It was kind of surreal knowing that everything i do could be influential and I started to search for something i could do that could express love towards thees people.

Any one thats knows me knows thats im insensitive, I dont have a filter, I dont care what anyone has to say about me, I enjoy lying to people I dont know, and I have a very low tolerance for people I dont like, but I am indeed a walking contradiction. not many people see the compassion I have for the world and how I try to love people the best I can. not many people know that I want to give everything I own to someone else. not many people know that my life goal is to make as many people happy as I can. Maybe its because I am not trusting enough of people to let that side show.

anyways.....

the only thing I can hope now is that the short time I spent with my new friends I did something to impact them in a positive way. life is too short to not change someones life in a significant or even insignificant way.

so go out and buy someone a pair of flip flops.

maybe buy the lady in front of you at subway her sandwich

give that new watch to a bud

converse with the clerk at 7-11

or just open the door for someone..... you never know how people will be effected.

We laugh in the face of love Cause nobody's really there, Nobody's real.....

It's been 3 months since my last blog. it really doesn't seem like it's been that long

It's not that i dont have anything to say, I just haven't found time.

Its funny because the times when I have more to say than ever i have no time to say it.

So much has happened in the past 3 months...

My faith was tested, not just my faith in God but my faith in humanity. Over the past month or so my family has been the victim to the most hateful and greedy acts I have ever wittnessed. I guess it comes as a real shock because I tend to be such an optimist at heart.

It's funny how optimism can have negative reactions. Often optimism covers the flaws of an individual that may make them dangerous to others. I'm realizing how optimism can be extremely dangerous.

even with all the terrible things happening to my family, alot of good things have been coming my way and even to the people around me. I recently got full time at work, I have been exceeding my selling goals, and everyone of my coworkers has been doing amazing in the store. Im just really digging life right now.

I guess right now I just have so much to say its hard to put into words, hopefully i will be able to jot them down and get this creativity ball rolling again.

keep your head up,
Landen

Will I ever get to where I'm going? If I do will I know when I'm there? If the wind blew me in the right direction, Yeah Would I even care?

So Instead of a list of useless new years resolutions I have decided to make a list of things I want to do before I die. I am in the process of writing 25 things I want to do. then as a group me and my friends will put them all together and see what things can be crossed out.

so far from mine it's.....

1. learn to blow glass
2. see Spain
3. read the entire bible
4. go to south America for a summer to snowboard
5. hang out with someone famous
6. get scuba certified
7. hike a portion of the Appalachian trail
8. sky dive

It is a lot harder to make one of thees lists than you would think. I find myself asking if the action is obtainable or not, it kind of sucks.

As much as I love winter I am kind of looking forward to spring. This winter has been very cold in every way possibly. For some reason it has just been a tundra of loneliness or despair for everyone I know. It's so weird how thees things work.

I feel like spring will be great. I have a lot of amazing things planned for the month of march along with my birthday. I really think that this spring I will see a lot of new life and new relationships.

Hey maybe even a cure to this loneliness will come about.


stay warm