When we come down we'll be dreamin safe and sound.

I don't know what it is but I just had an extreme sense of peace just flow over me. Everthing is falling into place.

I set out to have a grand adventure on this new years eve, but that didnt work out. So now as I sit here with my best friend listening quietly to piano tracks, I feel that peace just surround me and soak in every fiber of my being.

I don't care about adventures or crazy partying, getting a midnight kiss, being lonely for the holidays, working at 9 in the morning, or making resolutions on this years end, I care about being with my best friends and feeling the sense of accomplishment.

My life has been transformed in the time of a year.

I look back on last year and how I couldn't wait for this year to end. I can without a doubt say that 2008 was the worst year I have had out of thees 18. thats another story though.

One thing I can say is that this year has quite possibly been the best, and for no specific reason. even though last year my life was torn apart, this year it has slowly been restored. With the restoration I feel that something crazy is coming next year. I feel like over the past year I have been preparing for something great and exciting. Hopefully I won't be let down.

Stay tuned.

I am a moth who just wants to share your light I'm just an insect trying to get out of the night I am still with you because there are no others

It's Christmas eve, the second one I've been through single. There is something about having a sweetheart on the greatest day of the year, it just enhances it. I can't wait for this game that little boys and girls play with each other to end. I just want a girl that stands up for her beliefs and is confident, someone that can encourage me as much as I can support her. Someone who is flawed, someone who has made a difference, someone that respects me.

It also sucks that I have never had a girl that lived within 30 minutes of my house.

Really all I want to do is spoil someone.... any takers?

Seriously, I laugh at what my generation calls true love. I can't wait to experience it, because I know what I once had was not true. I remember a new years resolution I had, It was to find a girl that met a few of those criteria. Unfortunately no luck yet, But hey I still have a week.


Wow this just turned into a complaining session. That is the beauty of a blog that not many people read, I can say what I want.

on a different note....
As great as the Christmas season is, it still isn't as great as it was when I was a child.

I never believed in santa clause, but I remember staying up all night waiting for my parents to wake up to tear through the presents. Now I go to sleep at midnight hoping to get a few extra hours of sleep than I would on any other day. I guess that is what happens as you grow older, the things that once made your heart jump now just seem mediocre.

Don't get me wrong Christmas is still the best time of year in my opinion, but I see what this celebration of my saviors birth truly has become...

It's an excuse to be greedy and irresponsible with your money.

I can really appreciate my parents doing a modest Christmas every year. It really has given me the right perspective on this season. I feel my priorities this entire month are different than everyone else. For me it's about sweet fellowship with my friends and family.

Hopefully The last week in this year will be awesome, who knows maybe I will fulfill that new years resolution. I mean I did accomplish all the other ones. Even if I don't, I am very satisfied with this past years and it's products. I hope everyone feels the same

Merry christmas

What if I sold everything I own And ran away from everyone I know could I make another place my home?

I have started to realize how young I really am. Even though by the laws standards I am a man, there is still so much for me to learn. I think about how at my age my parents were married. That is mind blowing, I cant imagine having that much responsibility at this time in my life.

I blame society.

Isn't that funny how people get so frustrated with society and the way things are? Just think about the world we live in today and how much our culture has changed over the past 30 years. It is pretty ridiculous. I love when I get frustrated with a text message, or when my internet isnt quite as fast as i would like it to be. We need to take a step back and just look at this situation......

just sayin.

Man this has been a very eventful week, a lot of good and a lot of bad.

So let us see what happens in the end, because thats the only part that matters, right?

something else to think about

I don't love you, but I always will....

Lately I've been living in very numb and Grey world. Not much I experience gives me great joy but nothing makes me upset. I guess I'd rather feel nothing than pain.... Isn't that a song?

Up until this weekend nothing has really bothered me or moved me in any kind of way. I guess every since I started my new job getting back into a drone like routine after having months of freedom can really take its toll. I still can't figure out why I felt this way.

This weekend something really changed, it's like I woke up out of a mindless slumber. I have started writing again, and I even picked up a guitar...... yeah it's a big deal.

I'm regaining interests and enjoying things more, it is like I have been cured of a disease I didn't know I had.

I'm glad that stage is over.

Though my awakening I have found myself incredibly intrigued by the story of Lucifer and all the different theories behind his fall. It blows my mind that he was God's favorite creation and when he exhaled music filled the air. The bible says that he was covered in any type of precious stone you can imagine. In Latin Lucifer actually means " Light bearer". Far from the little red devil that is projected to us today. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when he sang.....


It's funny how many people take one line of scripture and can interpret it hundreds of different ways and form doctrines off of those. It makes me chuckle that as humans we try and take faith out of anything. I think that is what people forget the most about any type of belief system, that it is in fact a "belief system" meaning it takes faith. Which makes me understand those that can't believe in such a thing.

Lets be honest here, the idea of God is a pretty far leap. It's not the easiest concept to grasp.

Christians need to stop shoving doctrine in peoples face. well not just Christians, every religion. Be the example your supposed to be and stop worrying about the petty things. I want to love like Jesus, I want to be a "little Christ". Its funny how many Christians dont match the definition of there own religion. I think it was Paul that first used that term (don't quote me on that) but what he said was we need to be little Jesus'.

Jesus hung out with the scum of the earth, weather they believed he was the son of god or not.

I know I'm not there, but hey baby steps.